Sending you all of my love Linda.

Sorry for what happened! Wish I could hug you and kiss you right now! Stay strong babydoll!

In happier news, I overslept, AGAIN, therefore I want to say thank you Ballina for driving me to work today...(I will be knocking on your door within a half an hour to wake you up, you love it). Still sick, so work is going to be interesting.

Can't wait til I am home, only 48 days to go, can't wait to see everyone, most and foremost my mom and my brother. Then the girls. Linda, we wont be living together but we wont need Skype to talk. Super duuper excited!

I better get going!

Later...

Just heard this song, brings back memories.

Yaro,Yaro, hey

Yaro, hey (vi kan hej)

Yaro, hey (vi ska)

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Yaro, hey Yeah

Högt lågt överallt, ja sa?

Jag vakna med huvudvärk och sten i mitt bröst

Jag vet ingen tröst,

jag måste sluta be till min törst

För det som kändes jobbigt känns nu dubbelt så svårt

Och hur illa betedde jag mig på klubben igår?

Jag var vidrig mot vänner, vad sa jag till tjejen?

Bråka med vakten om galnaste grejen

Ligger kvar i sängen, hoppas känslan ebbar

tills rummet krymper och jag trängs med väggar

Hon e 5 i 11, telefonen den ringer, försöker återfå minnet,

Vill här ifrån, och försvinnerut i en bakfylla

blandad med ångestjag säger samma sak för 6002:e gången

Jag ska aldrig mer göra så jag känner såhär

Det kvittar vilken fest de är och hur många jag känner där

Jag svär om jag bara kan klara idag

så ska jag ta mig i kragen och vara så glad

För the botten is nådd

Hur långt kan man gå?

Hur lågt kan man sjunka?

Hur kasst kan man må?

Kändes förjävligt innan

men det börjar bli lite bättre nu min vän

Om jag tappar fästet och trillar ner ska jag klättra upp igen

Tillslut när jag orkar ta mig upp ur min bäd

dfår jag en chock när jag ser klockan är kvart över 1

jag skulle träffat min syster för typ en timme sen

jag missa telefon-tiden hos kronofogden igen

men jag lär ju mig aldrig av mina misstag

vilket ämne det jag har en brist av

varför går jag alltid över gränsen

min hjärna den står där brevid när det händer

jag måste ringa runt och be om förlåt

känns som jag hellre vill dö men vi får se hur det går

tacka fan för mina polare har tålamod med mig

hade jag vart dom hade jag knappt tåla att se mig

min kyl den är tom, mina pengar är slut

alla ledtrådar säger: förändra dig nu

patetisk och ynklig, fy fan vilken dag

Jag duschar men samvetet, det sitter kvar

För the botten is nådd

Hur långt kan man gå?

Hur lågt kan man sjunka?

Hur kasst kan man må?

Kändes förjävligt innan men det börjar bli lite bättre nu min vän

Om jag tappar fästet och trillar ner ska jag klättra upp igen

Deppig som jag är börjar jag tänka på annat

som gör mig ännu ännu ledsnare och jag är nästan förbannad

men det som inte dödar mig blir jag ju starkare av

det är dags stirra upp skiten och göra smartare val

så knasst man kan vara, ja man smäller av

och de ät knappt att man klarar sånna sämre dar

innan det går för långt, nu är jag desperat

jag vill ju se till att göra nåt bättre av

denna korta tid som vi har här på denna planeten

kan man inte gå runt och skapa sina egna helveten

(Raahhh) äntligen så börjar ångesten släppa

och den bästa medicinen för mig är sånger som denna

Vi tittar upp ner, överallt

Jag sa: Upp ner och överalltöverallt Whooo

För the botten is nådd

Hur långt kan man gå?

Hur lågt kan man sjunka?

Hur kasst kan man må?

Kändes förjävligt innan men det börjar bli lite bättre nu min vän

Om jag tappar fästet och trillar ner ska jag klättra upp igen

Vi tittar uppåt uppåt uppåt

Vi tittar uppåt uppåt uppåt

Yaro, yaro

Miss Independent...

I JUST WROTE A HUGE POST!!! ...AND DELETED IT!

RECONSTRUCTION OF THE ORIGINAL POST:

Being sick sucks, my nose is an open tap that is impossible to close, my head goes "na na na", my body aches as if something as heavy as a car fell on it and I keep on coughing all of my inner organs out. SWEET! My questions is how you manage to get sick in this hot weather, it is not only me being sick, everyone is sick. Well makes me miss home extra much, mom would see that I am sick right a way and I could act like an infant again. Doesn't work with Allana the same way, she is a baby herself and needs alot of attention. You might get pity from her for a second and then she needs all of my attention on her. Lovely, I kind of can pull it off when I am not sick...

Tommyboy gave me some pills, they helped, better than Panadol, I also ate garlic, hopefully I am restored soon. Have an assignment due tomorrow, my last one...

Hopefully I can work on Jess and she will feel extremely bad for me...haha, my lovercakes lost her passport somewhere in the library so yesterday we were fixing that...poor bitch. It is all sorted, we just gonna go and post her applications for a new one now. She was so jumpy and nervous, Allana and I couldn't stop laughing, allthough I don't know what I would do if it was me.

I am going to go now...over and out!

TA AV DIG DIN TRUCKER KEPS!!!

Lovely ladies

I can't believe how self-centred I must be, I talk waaaay to much, I wish people sometimes just slapped me to shut me up. I rarely listen and I interrupt while the other person is talking, haha I am unbelievable. I always have my detailed stories that I just have to tell and preferrably 300 times, at least. Wow...

Last night Shanban and I were talking, once again me me me me talking, but then something happened and I decided to do something dramatic, to listen for a second and it payed off. I learned something about Shannon, I gave her the opportunity to open up, which was well needed and I have known her for a year soon...Although we started to spend more time together this semester, because I used to hate her in February. Why? She lookes bitchy...and she thought I came off as a bitch, that's not a surprise though.

So young lady Shannon is growing on me and I am happy to have her as a friend I am also very excited to move in together with her. Should be heaps of fun!

I have been tanning all day again, enjoying my last day in the sun, well I will be in the sun tomorrow, it's just that the pool and tanning oil will be switched into a tray with coffees or food, running around, working in the deli section, making food or by the till. Excitiing!!!

Will have to do some school work as well, haven't done much this week, needed my relaxation!

xx

It took me over two hours...

Guess whos room it is? Yes, Allanas, a bit of a change though. Started with removing mould from her wall and then just got caught up and decided to surprise her and clean her room, actually maybe prove a point as well, she always says that her room is a mess because she has alot of stuff, well the stuff is still there but it ain't messy anymore. For now, it will be back to its normal state when my dearest returns "home" from home. Oh well! I can say one thing, I never thought that I would say this but: ALLANAS room is cleaner than my own, my room isn't messy though. :)

Today I have done almost nothing, just chilled by the pool and tanned, swam 550 meters. The fire alarm went off while we were by the pool, I lost the count for the fire alarms this week, just like all other weeks. Same story with the firebrigade, they don't bother being quick anymore, because they know it's the village, they don't even go straight to the room where it went off. That's the way they get fat and unfit, like myself. Their job is coming here for nothing. It is funny in a way. Village is a circus. Don't live here, good entertaiment though.

Nice sunny days it is all over tomorrow. Because tomorrow is my last day of freedom, work all weekend, sucky sucky, but that's money. Study time and then bed, getting up early tomorrow.

Mwah!

Snakes, clouds and heat.

Morning, definately feeling better this morning, had a sleepin, til 9.30. It is windy and sunny outside, wish it was warmer. Waiting for my lover cakes Jess to come over, we gonna go and print off her project and I will get a little bit of exercise.

So the roadtrip with Shanban is off, we are not gonna go before the break, we spoke about it and when it comes to the financial part the trip would have been too soon. We decided to go after the holidays in the end of February. The plan is to fly to Melbourne, I might as well just fly there on my way back from Sweden that will save me money. We will stay in Melbourne for a couple of days catch the train to Sydney, stay there for a couple of days and then head up north to Shannons grandma. (I think that the place is called Foster) then we will head to Yamba where Shannon lives and take the car back to Goldie!

Now its time for me to go and tan!

Adiooos!

Something more...

Pursuing dreams and goals in life is not always the easiest task ever. It is both detrimental and beneficial for a person. It comes along with ups and downs and when either or hits you it can be the best or the worst moments of the life. Right now I am having one of those downs. Not really sure where the feelings are coming from. Maybe the fact that I am alone and wide awake analysing and thinking or maybe just because I am going home soon and just wish it could be sooner. Also have been thinking about major events in my life which occured over a year ago and that doesn't really make me feel better. Maybe I just need to fall asleep and stop thinking, tomorrow is a new day, a new step towards realising my dreams and becoming the person I am on the way to become.

I am aware that what I am doing will pay off in the long run for every one involved, but that long run is taking a damn long time. Sometimes during those ups and downs I start to question myself, I feel selfish and inconsiderate. I should be allright tomorrow. After the rain comes sun, I know it but,

I miss my family very much and I just want to hug and kiss and squeeze them and never let go.

Is this the way growing up feels? I haven't even seen the real life, real world. I just have tasted a tiny bit of it.

Over and out.