A new smoking regulation

I couldn't sleep all night because I was coughing my guts out so it was pretty much impossible to fall asleep. I gave up after 2 hours of tossing and turning and coughing. In early hours I went to sit on the couch, I guess I thought it would make me feel better. It did I fell asleep for a few hours. At around 6am I heard my mom when she woke up, so I had to get up and move my ass back to the bed. Ofcourse I scared the shit out of mom. Then I heard her getting ready and almost leaving. She was saying goodbye to my brother and some other stuff. (Which I heard because I wasn't sleeping)

Mom: Tell Nelli that she has to smoke on the balcony and not in the kitchen.

Daniil: Allright, balcony, not kitchen.

Mom: Yes, yes, tell her to get dressed and smoke on the balcony.

Daniil: Okay, sure. Oh but wait I wont be able to?! (I assume because he would leave before I woke up, I wasn't even asleep)

Mom: Well you can leave her a note in the kitchen, she'll read it.

I couldn't be bothered to yell out that I heard, I was considering to yell "Goodbye mom, have a great day!" but I just didn't have enough strength and I also was curious about what my brother could possibly come up with to write on that note.

After smoking (on the balcony) I remembered that there should be a note for me. Found it on the kitchen door, seems like a good place (but I didn't see it when I walked in to the kitchen so good thing that I heard the convo). Here is the note:

Translation in the exact same order as written:

SMOKING RULE

• put some clothes on


• SMOKE ONLY ON THE BALCONY
  
  
  Daniil

READ

I guess that the most important part for me to get was that I shouldn't smoke inside, and read the note. Clothes not so important. So I got dressed:

Rocking my hot glasses ( I am sick so contact lenses is not an option, those sexy things ((glasses)) get all steamy after being in cold). Moms old fur to keep me warm, my ultra bright short pants bought in Ballina and boots. Oh so much effort for a ciggie.

I made myself a cup of tea in a small cup that we never drink tea from simply because all others were dirty. The minute I started drinking my tea it was cold, that was btw just a minute after I boiled it, so its either extremely cold or I am just stupid and didn't let the water to boil long time enough. So I had to make myself a second cup of tea.

And this was my beautiful view, and just when I thought that things wouldn't get more excited I spotted a:

post truck, SMILE MR. TRUCK DRIVER, you just made my day!

This is a "fart control/kontroll"...

...and Linda would endlessly get caught and have a HUGE pile of tickets. I am really funny, really really funny. (give me a break it is late). That heading would also ONLY be funny if said by a Swedish person to someone whos mother tongue is English.

I was sitting and inspecting my legs, browsing my mind for topics to write about in this post. I must warn sensitive readers to stop reading RRRRiiiiiight here and RIIIIGHT NOoow (as Shannon would say it). Todays topic is hair in-grow. Partially because Jessica always asked me what exactly it is and partially because I am brain damaged. So here we go.

Basically hair in-grow is when after shaving/waxing/epilating or whatever you do to get those silky-smooth walking fists hair decides to grow inwards instead of outwards. The hair sack? (is that the name?) gets inflamed and swollen, a yellow fatty thick liquid gatheres and the hair keeps on growing but never really reaches the day light. Most of us, little bit more stable people than me remain unaware of it and take no action. Me on the other hand start an exciting procedure. It all started when I discovered them the first time. I squeezed the area around the inflammation and voilá a hair (unrealistically long hair came out). That ofcourse became an addiction, that is just my nature very addictive to things. (that is why I can overanalyze for weeks when a hot guy says hello to me, was it in a flirtatious nice kind of hello or just friendly one, but if friendly one why did he wink? Because he did wink didn't he Allana? you get the picture) So I have taken this procedure to the extreme levels. I take a table lamp (lampa på svenksa, heter det lamp?) so that I can see better and sit there for ages and search my legs for hair in-grow. If I find them I am happy but just want more and more. What happens if I don't? I am ofcourse very unhappy and I fantisize about squeezing and getting out looooong hairs. The result? Well sometimes I squeeze and it is a false alarm, no hair, so I am left with a scar and no satisfaction. I have absurdly many scars on my legs, people either say WHOAAAAAA what the hell is that ???!!! or Giiirl thats a whole load of mosquito bites. I usually go along with the bites, would be gross explaining what it really is. But now you have it, now you all know.

I might loose a friend or two after this post, mabe all of them, I will be walking around and people will keep a distance, point at me and scream freeeak. We don't have lockers like in high schools at uni so at least there I am safe. I also think that I do know who will be most gorssed out. DAVIE, she is a pussy, she is easily grossed out and says ewwwwww or maybe I just choose to share waaay too many details with her. I also do know that I am going to have 1 friend left for sure. That is miss Wilhede. She will get called freak with me because that lady can def not abandon me the way she farts. Everywhere, louder than everyone. Sometimes people don't even realise it was her, because it sounds as if a guy farted not a sweet little innocent Linda. Hence the heading of this post.

When it comes to farts, burps and stuff like that the louder the better. Phil sure knows. Don't you? Allana too missy got up to mine and Linda's levels after a year. Good on ya!

Another reason why Linda can't abandon me is because I used to remain in the same bathroom where she needed to go for a number 2, a smelly one. I needed to fix my hair, she needed to go and we couldn't compromise. No biggie. Brought us so much closer.

I do realise that I really should delete this whole entry, but what the hell this one is on me.

In other news, Shannon and Allana step up your game, I am getting more and more tanned, not even joking, for real.

Over and out.

xoxo

Allana

Miss my baby alot. Weird being without the most annoying and least listening roomie in the world. So unfair to have family and friends spread all over the world but also amazing. I get to miss people, and when you miss somebody it makes you to appreciate what you have so much more. There are many things we take for granted in our lives.

Miss you Allana!

Head over heels

Renting a house is a pane in the arse and I am not even the one looking for it. So grateful to Shannon. I was being very naiv, didn't even think about the requirements, well we need (individually): 3 referees (does my mother count? random Swedish names and numbers? I can just close my eyes and randomly choose people from the phonebook? Would that work?), last pay checks (I threw them out), rent in cash for first few weeks, probably furniture (IKEA here I come and oh I hate it), huge bond. Oh well, we will sort it out.
I miss speaking English and I actually miss writing reports for uni. Just taking psych classes this semester, even one as an elective. DO NOT miss stats. Will aim for higher grades, try to do everything in time.
Loosing weight is a pain in the ass as well, apparantely salt is just as bad as sugar so neither for me, living without sugar is so much easier than skipping salt. My fat ass is still fat but I start seing results. Mini results. My tan is fading away and I miss sun. Freezing constantly, tips of my ears ache when I am out, thats how cold it is. Apart from that life is good. Miss my "homies" (lol psycho) in GC.
xxx

Lovely beginning of the year and a great goodbye!

At the moment I have soo much on my mind. It is all positive but my head is on its way to explode. I am so happy and excited that I don't know what to do with myself.

New Years eve was a success, great food (lamb, patés, sallads etc), bubbly, wine, (I just had a couple of glasses for once). Mom and I prepared everything in time (first New Years eve in ages, usually we have guests starting to pop in and we aren't even ready). We hade the dinner early and then just drank and hung out. The food was lovely. A bit later it was time for presents. I got clothes, shoes and a facial treatment. Can't wait til I can wear all of the clothes. After 12am we went out to fire off some fireworks. Mom and Daniil scared the shit out of me because they were very cheeky and I am a bit too worried when it comes to stuff like fireworks.

In the morning, this year, I woke up really early, did the dishes, cleaned, smoked, prepared brekkie for my bro. When mom woke up we had a champagne before breakfast.

After the breakfast Shannon skyped me, haven't talked to her for ages, so that was lovely. We still are vagabonds, no house, so I will help Shannon looking, poor thing is working too much.

Then in the afternoon Philip went online so we had a Skype session with him as well, he spoke to my brother and mom, haha and I am apparentaly a shit stirrer. His tip for Daniil was to ignore me, because according to my sweet little brother I tease him ALOT and I am MEAN. WHATEVER both of you!!! (bitterfittor) Have missed Phil awfully much, haven't spoken to him since Australia and last time I spoke to him sober was MONTHS ago. Made me miss Grandpa even more. Also thanks to my mom I got to know that Philip is planning on having SIX kids. Poor creatures, that shouldn't be legal.

To top the day off, miss Jessica "my bf's name is Kelly" Lillie logged on so we skyped too!!! How freaking cool is that? Two Canadians and an Aussie all in one day. Buy 3 pay for 1. I like deals like that. Jess and I have been good at keeping in touch. Real good. So have Shannon and I as well. Poor thing works, parties and has time to talk. Keep up the good work, honestly I am a bit surprised. Oh and yeh, Shanban is now transforming into a Chaaaarlie, she doesn't sound very Aussie, that all is caused by a guy, (what a surprise?). New BRITISH, HOT, guy at Shannons work. eh eh eh eh heee.

Then we have Tits McGee Davie, that girlie needs to shape up, haven't heard from her for AGES, which is really dissapointing.

Also about 2009, there are 2 events that I wish will happen, one very soon and the other in July. July one is more realistic. Both involve 2 people that mean the world to me. If July one will happen I will get to "share"/introduce someone to my family which would be awesome. I will also have an opportunity to show where I come from etc.

So please Santa, work hard on those two.

I also am looking forward my second year as a university student and the Swedish summer, spending it with my family.


That's all for today,
Love Lexy