Haha, haha, haha suckers

It is snowing today, everything is covered in white snow, it's almost storming outside. I like this kind of weather, it is very pretty!

Kristian just called me, was so nice actually talking to him and hearing his voice. I am excited to have him as a roommate. From what I hear he is tidy. Perfect, 3 out of 4, the odds are on my side this year. Gotta make a cleaning schedule so that everyone cleans up after themselves, I am not a housemade, no more.

When I mention Arlanda or 10th of March I get stiff, it starts to worry me how hard it is going to be to leave my mom and brother for a second time. I'll get over it and this time I'll be home so much sooner.

This weekend I probably am going to Västerås to spend some time with my precious Linda. Have had her so close but yet so far away. Miss talking to her, sharing, discussing. Sleeping team work forever. Best person to share my bed with in Oz.

Oh well,

Toodles.

There is nothing wrong with my understanding of Norwegian

A conversation between me and Kristian:

Kristian: Im going crazy.
Me: Why?
Kristian: Norway.
Me: I agree, no way I am going to live in Scandinavia. As a matter of fact Scandinavia can stick Scandinavia up it's Nordic ass.
Kristian: Just så är jag med dig:P (he speaks in Swedish with me) meaning: I agree with you.
Me: HA HA HAA, NOT FUNNY. From now on you are not sleeping safe anymore, watch out, I will stick something up your ass!!!! (I am angry here)
Kristian: lol, WTF?
Me: Maybe I misunderstood what you meant? Did you mean that you agree with me?
Kristian: Yes.
Me: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

To my defense, even though Kristian speaks Swedish to me, sometimes he says it with Norwegian grammar and it makes it to sound really wrong, like when he said that he agrees with me, I understood it as he thought the same way about me like I did about Scandinavia. So yeh, oops. Imagine what happens when I talk to May Linn, Linda and Barbro...well it's more of a monologue, I just nod. (regarldessly if I understand them or not) Some way they all know that if I nod then I didn't have a clue what they are talking about.

LEARN SWEDISH PEOPLE!!! ( I can hear Wilhede in my head laughing and saying "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SWEDISH YOU FOOL") OOOOOh I do and nooot cool Linda, not cool!

You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down down

Sooo, my new hair...I like it.
You know how people say that you should talk to your plants? They grow better that way, it is said that they get oxygen that way, I mean the other one, we inhale oxygen in and exhale (koldioxid) my bad...lol So I try this with my hair, whenever I am infront of the mirror I touch it and say: Pleeaase, pretty please can you grow...just a liiiitttle bit...pretty please.

I am not too sure if it's working...oh well I said I like it...it's just that sometimes I feel like a boy or an old lady...but that happens rarely...

Impulsive decisions - I'll let the picture to talk for itself

I've got a man with two left feet...a note to myself.

songs to download:

-The boy does nothing
-Human
- (Lazees song's)
-(some of Cassidy's songs)
-Feeling you (T.I.)
-Magic
-Time to love (Breezy)
-Right round (Flo)
-Troublemaker (I am not trouble)

oh well now I wont forget
mwah


you spin my heaaad right round, right round...when you...go down, down down.

A new smoking regulation

I couldn't sleep all night because I was coughing my guts out so it was pretty much impossible to fall asleep. I gave up after 2 hours of tossing and turning and coughing. In early hours I went to sit on the couch, I guess I thought it would make me feel better. It did I fell asleep for a few hours. At around 6am I heard my mom when she woke up, so I had to get up and move my ass back to the bed. Ofcourse I scared the shit out of mom. Then I heard her getting ready and almost leaving. She was saying goodbye to my brother and some other stuff. (Which I heard because I wasn't sleeping)

Mom: Tell Nelli that she has to smoke on the balcony and not in the kitchen.

Daniil: Allright, balcony, not kitchen.

Mom: Yes, yes, tell her to get dressed and smoke on the balcony.

Daniil: Okay, sure. Oh but wait I wont be able to?! (I assume because he would leave before I woke up, I wasn't even asleep)

Mom: Well you can leave her a note in the kitchen, she'll read it.

I couldn't be bothered to yell out that I heard, I was considering to yell "Goodbye mom, have a great day!" but I just didn't have enough strength and I also was curious about what my brother could possibly come up with to write on that note.

After smoking (on the balcony) I remembered that there should be a note for me. Found it on the kitchen door, seems like a good place (but I didn't see it when I walked in to the kitchen so good thing that I heard the convo). Here is the note:

Translation in the exact same order as written:

SMOKING RULE

• put some clothes on


• SMOKE ONLY ON THE BALCONY
  
  
  Daniil

READ

I guess that the most important part for me to get was that I shouldn't smoke inside, and read the note. Clothes not so important. So I got dressed:

Rocking my hot glasses ( I am sick so contact lenses is not an option, those sexy things ((glasses)) get all steamy after being in cold). Moms old fur to keep me warm, my ultra bright short pants bought in Ballina and boots. Oh so much effort for a ciggie.

I made myself a cup of tea in a small cup that we never drink tea from simply because all others were dirty. The minute I started drinking my tea it was cold, that was btw just a minute after I boiled it, so its either extremely cold or I am just stupid and didn't let the water to boil long time enough. So I had to make myself a second cup of tea.

And this was my beautiful view, and just when I thought that things wouldn't get more excited I spotted a:

post truck, SMILE MR. TRUCK DRIVER, you just made my day!

This is a "fart control/kontroll"...

...and Linda would endlessly get caught and have a HUGE pile of tickets. I am really funny, really really funny. (give me a break it is late). That heading would also ONLY be funny if said by a Swedish person to someone whos mother tongue is English.

I was sitting and inspecting my legs, browsing my mind for topics to write about in this post. I must warn sensitive readers to stop reading RRRRiiiiiight here and RIIIIGHT NOoow (as Shannon would say it). Todays topic is hair in-grow. Partially because Jessica always asked me what exactly it is and partially because I am brain damaged. So here we go.

Basically hair in-grow is when after shaving/waxing/epilating or whatever you do to get those silky-smooth walking fists hair decides to grow inwards instead of outwards. The hair sack? (is that the name?) gets inflamed and swollen, a yellow fatty thick liquid gatheres and the hair keeps on growing but never really reaches the day light. Most of us, little bit more stable people than me remain unaware of it and take no action. Me on the other hand start an exciting procedure. It all started when I discovered them the first time. I squeezed the area around the inflammation and voilá a hair (unrealistically long hair came out). That ofcourse became an addiction, that is just my nature very addictive to things. (that is why I can overanalyze for weeks when a hot guy says hello to me, was it in a flirtatious nice kind of hello or just friendly one, but if friendly one why did he wink? Because he did wink didn't he Allana? you get the picture) So I have taken this procedure to the extreme levels. I take a table lamp (lampa på svenksa, heter det lamp?) so that I can see better and sit there for ages and search my legs for hair in-grow. If I find them I am happy but just want more and more. What happens if I don't? I am ofcourse very unhappy and I fantisize about squeezing and getting out looooong hairs. The result? Well sometimes I squeeze and it is a false alarm, no hair, so I am left with a scar and no satisfaction. I have absurdly many scars on my legs, people either say WHOAAAAAA what the hell is that ???!!! or Giiirl thats a whole load of mosquito bites. I usually go along with the bites, would be gross explaining what it really is. But now you have it, now you all know.

I might loose a friend or two after this post, mabe all of them, I will be walking around and people will keep a distance, point at me and scream freeeak. We don't have lockers like in high schools at uni so at least there I am safe. I also think that I do know who will be most gorssed out. DAVIE, she is a pussy, she is easily grossed out and says ewwwwww or maybe I just choose to share waaay too many details with her. I also do know that I am going to have 1 friend left for sure. That is miss Wilhede. She will get called freak with me because that lady can def not abandon me the way she farts. Everywhere, louder than everyone. Sometimes people don't even realise it was her, because it sounds as if a guy farted not a sweet little innocent Linda. Hence the heading of this post.

When it comes to farts, burps and stuff like that the louder the better. Phil sure knows. Don't you? Allana too missy got up to mine and Linda's levels after a year. Good on ya!

Another reason why Linda can't abandon me is because I used to remain in the same bathroom where she needed to go for a number 2, a smelly one. I needed to fix my hair, she needed to go and we couldn't compromise. No biggie. Brought us so much closer.

I do realise that I really should delete this whole entry, but what the hell this one is on me.

In other news, Shannon and Allana step up your game, I am getting more and more tanned, not even joking, for real.

Over and out.

xoxo