Hard to breathe

I don't know what to call it, smokers cough or getting a little sick but this morning I had hard to breathe. I try to inhale and that causes coughing. When this sort of cough occurs only three things help:

1. Drink something
2. Exhale instead of inhaling and feel like you have cancer
3. Smoke

1-2 are all temporary solutions and number 3 helps the best. My cough is now cured and I can breathe normally.

I did all three of them and now I feel like puking instead. Bu fucking hu.