This is not going to be easy

I keep on post poning the writing of letter to CSN, I just wanna get over and done with it. This is going to bring up old emotions and the discomfort, doubt, sadness...I don't really want to write it but I have to. It normally takes a few weeks to get the loan approved when everything is well and now it's not so it will take longer. I need to get started.

I have been waiting for a ltter from the counsellor but it hasn't arrived and it has been over a month, I'll just have to send it in separately whenever I receive it.

I have been imagining the worst case scenarios, like not getting the loan, or getting it put too late and not being able to get tickets so I am in GC in time for the semester start. There are many bumps on the road, but I am determined and I am going back to Australia to finish my degree one way or another.

This is my dream to stand there in the funniest hat ever, receiving my diploma, being proud of myself, my first big accomplishment. When it all comes down to it, school and gymnasium are just prep for the big step out in the world. They are smaller accomplishments.

I have given things up for the education, for my dream, like being able to have a proper relationship with my family, being around them often and able to do stuff with my mom or my brother any day of the week.

Where do I start with the letter, how do I structure it? What do I include? I better get started!